Lost Through the Window

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Photo Credit : Creative Commons
By: Carolyn Joy Emerson

     I’ve always hated that window in my kitchen. Dressed in dull green drapes, its glass panes allowed the onlooker to gaze over the front yard that was previously bright and full of life. Now, it was dull and dead. Just like my emotions, and just like my heart. It’s been five years, today, since that yard has been lively and beautiful. Five years, since the only thing that mattered to me was ripped from my clutches.

     She was the world to me. In my heart, nothing mattered more to me than her. Now, the girl that was once my everything, was now no longer with me. She was lost, lost and needed to be found.

     The last time I spotted her was through that kitchen window. She was so young and innocent, just bounding across the bright green grass with my watchful eye over her. It appears that I wasn’t watchful enough. I glanced away for just a split second, and when I looked back she was nowhere to be seen.

     I remember the overwhelming dread I withstood when I first noticed. The worry and the fear that took over as if I was the one who was lost, and not her. Within a moment I was outside on that grass, tearing back and forth across the yard as I searched, shouting her name at the top of my lungs. I looked for her until dusk arose and my exhaustion took over, but it was too no avail.

     The following day, I notified the police. Their search seemed endless. I painstakingly waited every evening, just for them to tell me ‘I’m sorry sir, but we haven’t found any convincing leads yet’. They told me it was as if she had just vanished without a trace. There wasn’t any evidence left behind and there wasn’t anyone who witnessed the incident. There was nothing. Eventually, their investigation came to a close, leaving me to search for the girl that everybody else assumed was dead, except me.

     I continued the search but discovered that I was just wasting my time. If the professional detectives couldn’t find her, what chance did I have? Eventually I gave up on it, my hopes declining with it. I became nothing.

     Five years pass, and I’m still anticipating the day she returns. I’m still waiting for the day when I hear her beautiful voice again as she runs into the safety of my arms.

     My entire day is spent at that same window where she was last seen, praying that she would appear again. Deep inside, though, I know there’s no point. Hours pass by, and nothing changes. The hope that I scrape together each morning, slowly crumbles away into nothing.

     The hour hand on the clock hits seven and there’s still nothing. The sun slowly sets and darkness takes over the dead property. She isn’t coming back, I’m aware, but it kills me to admit it.

     Suddenly, behind me I hear the ringing of the home phone, and within a moment I’m on my feet. I hurry to the source of the sound and hold the receiver up to my ear. My fingers fumble with the phone cord, anxious about what the person had to say.

“Hello, is this Mr. Kayin?” The speaker asked, his voice showing no sign of emotion.

“Yes.” I answered hesitantly.

“This is Officer Marbury of the Beachgate Police Department,” He said, making myself even more hopeful. “I assume you remember the case several years ago regarding your daughter disappearing?”

“Yes.” I repeated. I entangled my fingers with the phone cord, waiting for the officer to respond.

“Well, I regret to inform you,” He said with sorrow, “That your daughter-“

I immediately slammed the receiver back down, hanging up the call. I did not need to hear what he had to tell me. By his words and tone, I could already figure what he was going to say.

Inside, I had known it all along but was to afraid to admit it to myself. Now it’s official and there’s nothing I can do to change it. She’s gone.

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