wonder48

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i wonder how many people let their gas gauges get to empty.

i wonder if they do it because they aren’t easily worried,

or if maybe getting stuck anywhere is better than being able to go home.

 

i wonder how many people pay bills late.

i wonder if they do it because the money just isn’t there,

or if they think the debt will go away if they ignore it long enough.

 

i wonder how many people listen to music too loud.

i wonder if they want to hear the bass rattle in their chest,

or if they can’t stand to hear their own heartbeat one more time.

 

i wonder how many people tell someone that they hate them.

i wonder if they are just in the heat of a moment and do not,

or if they needed a reason to say their true feelings.

 

i wonder how many people like getting an unexplained bruise.

i wonder if they like the discoloration or dull aches they bring,

or if they like knowing that they didn’t cause this one.

 

i wonder how many people put all their expenses on a credit card.

i wonder if they are truly waiting on next week’s pay,

or if they like the bold number on the bank statements getting larger each month.

 

i wonder how many people are genuine with their apologies.

i wonder if they actually regret whatever they did,

or if they just want the person they hurt to come back to them.

 

i wonder how many people show up late to work.

i wonder if they drove into the parking lot completely on time,

and sat in their car until they were not.

 

i wonder how many people wait until their last moments of life to feel remorse.

i wonder if they would have done any part of life different,

or if the mistakes have accumulated into a person who doesn’t want anything better.

 

i wonder how many people hold hands with loved ones.

i wonder if they do it because they want to,

or if they know that if they let go they will find someone new.

 

i wonder how many people buy clothes in the wrong sizes on purpose.

i wonder if they really just want to be comfortable,

or if they’re just hiding underneath all of it.

 

i wonder how many people speed.

i wonder if they do it because they are in a hurry,

or if they want this to look like it was just another accident.

 

i wonder how many people leave their doors unlocked.

i wonder if they do it because it slips their mind,

or if they feel like they own nothing of value.

 

i wonder how many people struggle to say their thoughts.

i wonder if they feel that way because of past betrayals,

or if there’s a good reason they won’t say them aloud.

 

i wonder how many people like going for walks.

i wonder if they do it because they decide to,

or if they just find themselves moving forward.

 

i wonder how many people say all the wrong things.

i wonder if they do it because they don’t know any better,

or if that’s the only way anyone will look them in the eyes.

 

i wonder how many people steal from others.

i wonder if they do it because they need what they take,

or if they just like having their hand wrapped around something new.

 

i wonder how many people sabotage themselves.

i wonder if they do it because of careless decisions,

or if they need something new to be upset about.

 

i wonder how many people don’t trust in others.

i wonder if they can’t do it because they’ve been hurt so much,

or if they’re what always ends up hurting other people.

 

i wonder how many people don’t look at themselves in the mirror.

i wonder if they don’t because they think they’re less beautiful than they are,

or if they know that the first part of this sentence won’t apply to them.

 

i wonder how many people write open letters.

i wonder if they do it because they want to show everyone they can,

or if they want to stop addressing each piece of paper to a single person.

 

i wonder how many people eat the same meal everyday.

i wonder if they do it because it’s routine,

or if it’s because it is the only thing that is consistent in their life.

 

i wonder how many people are sat wondering in the ways that i do.

i wonder if they do it because they feel the same loneliness i do,

or if it’s just because their minds have nowhere else to wander.

 

i wonder how many people are just like me.

i wonder if they feel their interior design is as ill as mine,

or if i’ll be my own measuring stick forever.

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